Craigslist made them roommates, fate made them family. Lily and Kylie met ten years ago in Portland and instantly became a two-woman tornado of fashion opinions, wine-fueled life talks, and chaotic apartment energy. Kylie is Lily’s chosen sister—part style icon, part therapist, part comedian with no off switch. She will definitely cry at the ceremony. Possibly more than once. Good luck getting a word in.

The one and only Late Nooker. A Des Moines, IA native, soil PhD, international traveler of epic proportions, fellow procrastinator and Phill's lead ethical consultant. Nate and Phill met 1st year of college at Iowa State and have shared a passion for investigating life and all of it's little rabbit holes ever since. Lily and Phill had an epic adventure in Colombia 2024 with Nate. We would be lost without our ocean-pact confidant.

Older sister, mentor, and a real good time. Brittany introduced Lily to her prep phase, the fine art of frying your hair with a straightener, and the sacred rite of sitting in the hot tub with the cool older girls—while illegally sipping two Smirnoff Ices. A legend from day one, she's the only functioning adult in Lily’s life, and frankly, we’re all just trying to vibe under her umbrella of stability. Brit, love you. Everything is worse when you aren't here to tell us what to do.

Another Des Moines, IA low-T bro with a penchant for high difficulty boss fights. Accountant by day, astronomer and professional car-soccer player by night. Why is Dave even in the wedding? Honestly unclear. Total menace. Constantly insults Phill, manipulates Lily into thinking he’s on her side, and somehow still gets invited to everything. He is also, unfortunately, good at everything—except Settlers of Catan, which he always loses at. Every. Damn. Time. Poor thing.

Our OG Butterball. The perfect Graceba. Greezus. This golden chaos gremlin is Lily’s actual younger shwister... but also her ride or die, forever and always. Through life's (Lily's) many trials, tribulations, and poorly-timed emotional breakdowns, Grace has been there—usually making things worse. She can’t focus for five seconds, could bench press Phill while narrating an entire season of Derry Girls verbatim, and doesn't give two twists of a leotard what you think about it. She’s a terrifying force of nature, the sweetest little peanut in North America, and Lily’s all-time favorite tiny menace. Ye be warned.

A multi-talented freak of nature. A medical doctor in Germany by day, broadway star by night, and an all-around magic wielding empath whom we love and adore. Without this guardian angel Phill would 100% not be alive today. Trez is brilliant, wildly kind, effortlessly cool, and somehow the person you want around in both an existential crisis and a cabaret show. Thanks to him, Lily is marrying a functioning adult instead of a man who subsists on Cheez Balls and vague ambition. To say we owe Trez is an understatement. He is the reason, the blueprint, and the emergency contact.

Karaoke prodigy. Dessert detective. Shopping genius. All around MVP. Wife to Lily's cousin, Alex Mentzer. The only woman in Lily’s entire extended family who consistently knows what the hell is going on. We have no idea what possessed her to commit herself to this cult of psychos, but thank god she did. Without Shelby, nothing would get done, no one would be speaking, and there would be no buffalo chicken dip. We don’t deserve her. But here she is. Please never leave us.

Older cousin, honorary brother, and Phill’s best shot at surviving Lily’s family events. Alex starts most sentences with “Not to be that guy, but…” and ends them while holding a child, a beer, or a grilled meat of some kind. He married Shelby (thank god), created Max and Bea (elite children), and continues to show up for family whether he wants to or not. He is annoyingly reliable and infuriatingly responsible. We pretend not to like him, but we actually love him a lot.

Lily’s eldest cousin and the only other family member to survive a fully public emo phase. These days she’s traded Hot Topic for a rainbow fanny pack made for children—and it slaps. She educates the youth of America by day and also Phill and Lil by night, for charity. Things we’ve learned from Cassandra: No touching. That’s inappropriate. Use your words. If you’re crabby, you’re probably just hungry. She’s our sister, our compass, and the adolescent-approved unicorn of our hearts.

Des Moines, IA resident masquerading as a high-school teacher and cross country coach. International travel companion of the highest caliber. Dependable would be an understatement. This man invented the Perfect Burden. Side note: His flip-phone was begrudgingly pried from his fingers in 2024 by society. He seemingly still has images and internet disabled... #shotglasscollarbones

Thea is, without question, the coolest person I know. Artist, cultural oracle — she’s been setting the vibe since high school, when she became my first cool friend (and I’ve been clinging on ever since). Yes, she’s insanely stylish and magnetic, but plot twist: she’s also terrifyingly smart. Thea is deep, gorgeous, wildly talented, and for reasons beyond human comprehension, still hangs out with Lily and now Phill. That said she also plays farm games on Nintendo switch and taught Lily how to make a D&D character so... yea it tracks.

The original Hawaiian bad boy. His surfing days are over but he can still build cabinets like his life depends on it (because it does). Hoarder of precious metals, harleys, historic guns, and dogs that could eat your kids. Connoisseur of cursed memes. Legend of Las Vegas cabinetry trade shows (yea, that's a thing). We cherish our time with this troglodyte more than he will ever know.

Lily’s greatest Chicago find and her most reasonable friend. Madeleine is polished, stylish, emotionally fluent, and never afraid to tell you exactly what she thinks—especially if your outfit’s not working. Her chaos is curated, her insight is razor-sharp, and her intellect is unmatched. She’s Lily’s cultural compass, straight-shooting queen, and the person we’d all vote for if she ran for office. When we grow up, we hope to be Madeleine.

Our favorite Wisconsin-born semi-reclusive brainiac. Land manager by day, tinkerer, philosopher and #1 dad by night. His thoughtful perspectives have been a mainstay in keeping Phill directed towards the light. #1 pick for leader during a zombie apocalypse. No contest. Carl, we would follow you anywhere.

Human Swiss Army knife. Heather is a property-managing, dog-momming, emotional triaging chaos sorceress. She can fix your HVAC, your heartbreak, and your fence—sometimes in one visit. Heather is endlessly loyal, weirdly handy, and always ten steps ahead, even if you’re not sure which direction she’s going. She’s the one you call when you need help—and the one who’s already on your roof dealing with your gutters.

What a handful this one is. Currently programming videogames, retired nuclear engineer for the Navy, WOW lvl 80 Druid... Free spirit with an aptitude for adventure. Possibly the only other person that gamifies life as much as Phill.

Nearly untamable. This man fights the good fight against smart phones and traffic toll violations like it's going out of style. A rare mix between genius, social butterfly, and conspiracy theorist. Always inventing and scheming. Top 3 reason to attend family functions.

Currently engineering in Des Moines while low key scooping up all the babes. A humble class-act giving sensei vibes. We patiently await Jack's first best-selling novel in the self-help genre. Literal actual inspiration.